Seeing Red

My inability to do things like everyone else: Instead of going gray as I age, my hair has decided to go red. pic.twitter.com/v19RhdMW4X

— Tim Riedel (@CaptainTimmer) October 30, 2014

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My Party Chart

Faulty late night napkin chart tries to explain how aging decreases party frequency but increases party intensity. pic.twitter.com/aBPEoe3cAb

— Tim Riedel (@CaptainTimmer) October 25, 2014

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Tusk

I went to the movies in support of my 18 year, one-sided relationship with @thatkevinsmith #walrusyes… http://t.co/RjTDeA7Za8

— Tim Riedel (@CaptainTimmer) October 4, 2014

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ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

My response to a preschooler who nominated me for the #ALSIceBucketChallenge. What happens at 2:15 gives me chills. http://t.co/7xsAaNeOGv

— Tim Riedel (@CaptainTimmer) August 28, 2014

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Baby Got Grains

Weird. @TheRealMix's anaconda don't want none unless you got buns but an anaconda diet consists of small & medium-sized animals, not grains.

— Tim Riedel (@CaptainTimmer) August 28, 2014

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Getting your Point Across

We should be careful not to become so good at getting our point across that we become bad at allowing others to do the same.

— Tim Riedel (@CaptainTimmer) August 21, 2014

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Don’t #ShareACoke

Forget about @CocaCola's negative nutritional content because they now offer personalized cans. Don't worry, be unhealthy and #ShareACoke

— Tim Riedel (@CaptainTimmer) August 5, 2014

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A Kid Impersonating an Adult

The jig is up. I'm really just a kid whose impersonating an adult. A 35 year-old kid whose impersonating a 28 year-old adult.

— Tim Riedel (@CaptainTimmer) August 2, 2014

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My Friend Iain

This article beautifully describes my friend Iain. Thank you, @rwesthead. It means a lot to me. http://t.co/8Od7iO2Lt0

— Tim Riedel (@CaptainTimmer) July 28, 2014

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Independence Day (Be-lated)

Happy belated birthday to our nation's little buddy the U.S. of A. Or as I like to refer to them "Canada South". #Merica

— Tim Riedel (@CaptainTimmer) July 23, 2014

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